Assalamualaikum w.b.t
Hiya guys,
Im gonna start having my final tomorrow!
yea, I mean it
Im having for papers this semester.
4 BLOODY paper that going to make a crack on my head.
this is my final struggle as this is the last final academic semester I'll have before i graduated next year.
Well, im going to have another semester, but that last semester will only cost me ENERGY and 100%SANITY level so I'll be still me after i finish my internship practical.
But, what all counts is starting tomorrow.
I will have to try my best, no matter what, for all my papers this semester.
Im terrified to death this time, cause all this while Im well prepared, but this time Im a little unprepared cause of so many final prject and other workloads that making me careless and lack motivation to study like I used to.
Still, I hope whatever effort I have made this few weeks will grant my wish come true.
I just badly want to maintain my Pointer, thats all Ive been praying for, nothing more than that.
So. that I can achive what I come here for and also
Im hoping to get my ANC, so i can gratefully stand by 'you' without ashamed, and proved as well, love doesnt actually brings US down.
Hmm, its even harder to maintain when the Final papers Im going to sit this upcoming weeks is not the littlest I can even say EASY PEASY.
Even so, I'll promised to my self, I try my really best to get through this one..
Please, pray for me..........
And, do wish me luck....
My final paper time table :
Fundamental of Entrepreneurship -
1 October 2012, Monday (1415 - 1615)
Principles of Economics -
7 October 2012 , Sunday (0900 - 1200)
Legal Food Aspect in Food Service -
12 October 2012, Friday (1445 - 1745)
Catering System Management -
16 October 2012, Tuesday ( 0900 - 1200)
Sunday, 30 September 2012
Tuesday, 21 August 2012
Assalamualaikum..
I was thinking of privating my blog before I actually post this.
But still I didnt.
Its just this thing Im going to write is private part of my life which i just didnt want the whole world to know.
but then Ive been thinking Its not like everyone know the existence of my blog and reading it anyways.
So I think Im going to ignored my intention and just carry on typing.
Hmmmmmm, I just need to let it out somehow.
cause it is hurting me so badly and i could not keep it all alone.
Iwanted to talk to someone, or just to hug someone to tell me everything is allright.
My boyfriend is so hard to even get through and i needen him so much this three days his not around, and my best friend kinda busy.
So who else understand my situation better than them.
Sometimes it sting when you see how happy are them, when you are crying your heart out silently in the dark.
Im happy to see their smile, but I just wish they can see how I needed them so bad here, just companion and calls would be fine.
Im feeling so alone and hopeless somehow.
Im strong, but Iam not always. people should start realized that.
First day of Raya 2012, is the worst I ever been this whole 20 years of my life.
My Parents just ruined it. I dont know to blame them or not,but they just need to grow up.
I cant keep seeing them like this, Im exhausted seeing and beeing in this drama over and over again.
I just wanted to shout STOPPED!!!, just please stopped.
Im terribly hurt by these thing and I just feel like running away. Far away from here, when i can just start a new life and I just can stopped thinking of my family, friends or even my resposibilty.
Im tired of the feeling of being obligated to everything around me.
Its to heavy for me to lift the responsiblity anymore, I just want to feel happy and free for once in my life.
Just not to think of anything, just me for once.
If Im being that selfish, I would go to the bus station and buy ticket to penang right now.
There nothing to look forward anymore here, I mean nothing.
I have so much works to do there, than being miserable and sad here.
Maybe people will judge me for being so pessimistic in this time of festive season.
But my advice is, come and be in my place, see how can you handle them. People just love to judge, but they dont even know a thing. Its so unlike me to blog or tweets my feeling, but for now twitter is safe fo r me as its very private account of mine and I approve only people I really want. And my blog, theres not much people knowing it existence. So if I really need shout out I'll do it here, so read it at your own willingness and judge all you want.
I was thinking of privating my blog before I actually post this.
But still I didnt.
Its just this thing Im going to write is private part of my life which i just didnt want the whole world to know.
but then Ive been thinking Its not like everyone know the existence of my blog and reading it anyways.
So I think Im going to ignored my intention and just carry on typing.
Hmmmmmm, I just need to let it out somehow.
cause it is hurting me so badly and i could not keep it all alone.
Iwanted to talk to someone, or just to hug someone to tell me everything is allright.
My boyfriend is so hard to even get through and i needen him so much this three days his not around, and my best friend kinda busy.
So who else understand my situation better than them.
Sometimes it sting when you see how happy are them, when you are crying your heart out silently in the dark.
Im happy to see their smile, but I just wish they can see how I needed them so bad here, just companion and calls would be fine.
Im feeling so alone and hopeless somehow.
Im strong, but Iam not always. people should start realized that.
First day of Raya 2012, is the worst I ever been this whole 20 years of my life.
My Parents just ruined it. I dont know to blame them or not,but they just need to grow up.
I cant keep seeing them like this, Im exhausted seeing and beeing in this drama over and over again.
I just wanted to shout STOPPED!!!, just please stopped.
Im terribly hurt by these thing and I just feel like running away. Far away from here, when i can just start a new life and I just can stopped thinking of my family, friends or even my resposibilty.
Im tired of the feeling of being obligated to everything around me.
Its to heavy for me to lift the responsiblity anymore, I just want to feel happy and free for once in my life.
Just not to think of anything, just me for once.
If Im being that selfish, I would go to the bus station and buy ticket to penang right now.
There nothing to look forward anymore here, I mean nothing.
I have so much works to do there, than being miserable and sad here.
Maybe people will judge me for being so pessimistic in this time of festive season.
But my advice is, come and be in my place, see how can you handle them. People just love to judge, but they dont even know a thing. Its so unlike me to blog or tweets my feeling, but for now twitter is safe fo r me as its very private account of mine and I approve only people I really want. And my blog, theres not much people knowing it existence. So if I really need shout out I'll do it here, so read it at your own willingness and judge all you want.
Saturday, 18 August 2012
Happiness Lingers Around.
Hahahaha :D
Yup, today i just feel so HAPPY :)
Well, its been 2 month since I got to meet you, Sayang.
And atlast, I did. Besides, we had a very good time together after sooooooooooo LOOOOONG, right?
Today, I had my break-fasting, at my boyfriend favourite place, called RAKUZEN.
Its been, last two years since we had this chance to break fast together, and to do this again? Seriously, of cause Im excited like a KID.
Whateva you called me tadi, Im fine with it la Sayang. Hahaha, cause im just extremly ESTATIC!
Its a new place for me though, cause usually, I'll eat somewhere else for Japanese food.
So its kinda a new experience, the ambience it not bad, its cool in a way, but I miss the enviroment in Grand Dorsett, Japanese Restaurant. Its had awesome ambience, and I do miss my Japanese Chef.
Anyway, we both had great fun and IM SO HAPPY.
Well, we've been so much through hard times lately, and Im just so happy when we can just put all those behind and still enjoying every moment we can spend with each other. BELIVE ME, its not even easy to see him. So, of cause I MISS HIM TERRIBLY!
Just to get spend time with him today is such a bless, Praise to Allah, cause gives us this chance.
Thanks, to you as well, cause tried you really best to make my wish come true. :)
ILOVEYOU.
Im so thankful, yet still feel guilty that he had to lie just to see me.
I hate that when he need to do this over and over again. I will just keep praying, until the day when we can just stop this hide and seek. I want our relationship to be bless, so I will wait until the day we can get the 'green light' okay.
Till then, we just had to stay strong like we always did.
And do wait for me, I'll try my real BEST to get a good pointer or atleast maintain it this semester and for my upcoming semester which be my last. Its not easy though as this semester, is really I mean REALLY TOUGH. all the hardest subject they put in this semester, and yhe workloads, oh gosh,
IM EXHAUSTED. Nevertheless I will try okay, and if Allah Willing, I will try to get the pointer your mom ask me too. Im not sure wether I can or I cant. But damn sure, I'll work my ass out.
So, if everything turn out good, as you wish I will be near to you, as you always wanted and so do I.
So, keep praying that my degree will be in UiTM Shah Alam. Amin.
Assalamualaikum, peeps.
Me and You Against The World. <3 br="br">
Yup, today i just feel so HAPPY :)
Well, its been 2 month since I got to meet you, Sayang.
And atlast, I did. Besides, we had a very good time together after sooooooooooo LOOOOONG, right?
Today, I had my break-fasting, at my boyfriend favourite place, called RAKUZEN.
Its been, last two years since we had this chance to break fast together, and to do this again? Seriously, of cause Im excited like a KID.
Whateva you called me tadi, Im fine with it la Sayang. Hahaha, cause im just extremly ESTATIC!
Its a new place for me though, cause usually, I'll eat somewhere else for Japanese food.
So its kinda a new experience, the ambience it not bad, its cool in a way, but I miss the enviroment in Grand Dorsett, Japanese Restaurant. Its had awesome ambience, and I do miss my Japanese Chef.
Anyway, we both had great fun and IM SO HAPPY.
Well, we've been so much through hard times lately, and Im just so happy when we can just put all those behind and still enjoying every moment we can spend with each other. BELIVE ME, its not even easy to see him. So, of cause I MISS HIM TERRIBLY!
Just to get spend time with him today is such a bless, Praise to Allah, cause gives us this chance.
Thanks, to you as well, cause tried you really best to make my wish come true. :)
ILOVEYOU.
Im so thankful, yet still feel guilty that he had to lie just to see me.
I hate that when he need to do this over and over again. I will just keep praying, until the day when we can just stop this hide and seek. I want our relationship to be bless, so I will wait until the day we can get the 'green light' okay.
Till then, we just had to stay strong like we always did.
And do wait for me, I'll try my real BEST to get a good pointer or atleast maintain it this semester and for my upcoming semester which be my last. Its not easy though as this semester, is really I mean REALLY TOUGH. all the hardest subject they put in this semester, and yhe workloads, oh gosh,
IM EXHAUSTED. Nevertheless I will try okay, and if Allah Willing, I will try to get the pointer your mom ask me too. Im not sure wether I can or I cant. But damn sure, I'll work my ass out.
So, if everything turn out good, as you wish I will be near to you, as you always wanted and so do I.
So, keep praying that my degree will be in UiTM Shah Alam. Amin.
Assalamualaikum, peeps.
Me and You Against The World. <3 br="br">
Tuesday, 7 August 2012
KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN.
Assalamualaikum. w.b.t
Salam Ramadhan even its kinda of late for me to wish to you guys.
Well Im back in Penang now, ==' sigh.
Its harder for me to go through each day here this semester. Much more harder than i expected.
Im still survivng though, just most of the time i feel like giving up.
Its just to dark and lonely here for me.
And so many test has been given to me by HIM.
Monetarily, Accident, Hurt, Stress, Sickness that never ends, harder subject to study this semester, and as well my relationship sometimes seems being hit by hard waves few times.
I almost giving up, and just want to give in and just drown with the waves cause Im so tired swimming. Its consumed my strength alot. But, I know I cant. I need to move on.
Hmm, so here I am, still standing strong. Im 20 now, just a couple days older, it didnt start well at all.
Im being bashed on my birthday by the persons who I loved and Adore soo much, so bad, till I cried ALOT that day. As I said earlier, its a bad start for me. I hope, it didnt turn out that way. I wish thing had been better, but I also know thing happened. And like you say Sayang, 'Things happened for a reason' I know. Its hurt and sting me alot, but I already forgive you, and I dont want to fight anymore. Im so exhausted for now. All I need a little bit of happiness, and loved just to move on my life over here. Not much I asked from you. Your words even, its not been forgotten 100% but I never had hold grudge to you and already forgive you from the start. I know part of it, there also my fault.
Besides all that happen, there my saviour, saving me from all this HELL. Thank You, to my dearest, BFF, KATHLEEN FERNANDEZ, to post your self to me, as my birthday present. Only your presence that day, make me sane enough to not do something out of my mind. Thanks for giving me the reason Im still stnading strong till now. I love you, and I love our Friendship so much. Its been, 15 YEARS of OUR FRIENDSHIP, and it still strong as ever. :")
Through all the thick and thin i have been through, theres this few persons that never give up on me, and always listen to all bullshit from me, cheer me up, and love me for WHO I AM. And for that, this shout out are for you!! THANK YOU GUYS, AND I LOVE YOU SOO MUCHHHH!!! <3 p="p">
1. Kathleen Fernandez
2. Zai Zeffery B Zainudin
3. Nasuha Suboh
4. Wardah Sakinah Bt Ridzwan
5. Muhammad Afiq
Salam Ramadhan even its kinda of late for me to wish to you guys.
Well Im back in Penang now, ==' sigh.
Its harder for me to go through each day here this semester. Much more harder than i expected.
Im still survivng though, just most of the time i feel like giving up.
Its just to dark and lonely here for me.
And so many test has been given to me by HIM.
Monetarily, Accident, Hurt, Stress, Sickness that never ends, harder subject to study this semester, and as well my relationship sometimes seems being hit by hard waves few times.
I almost giving up, and just want to give in and just drown with the waves cause Im so tired swimming. Its consumed my strength alot. But, I know I cant. I need to move on.
Hmm, so here I am, still standing strong. Im 20 now, just a couple days older, it didnt start well at all.
Im being bashed on my birthday by the persons who I loved and Adore soo much, so bad, till I cried ALOT that day. As I said earlier, its a bad start for me. I hope, it didnt turn out that way. I wish thing had been better, but I also know thing happened. And like you say Sayang, 'Things happened for a reason' I know. Its hurt and sting me alot, but I already forgive you, and I dont want to fight anymore. Im so exhausted for now. All I need a little bit of happiness, and loved just to move on my life over here. Not much I asked from you. Your words even, its not been forgotten 100% but I never had hold grudge to you and already forgive you from the start. I know part of it, there also my fault.
Besides all that happen, there my saviour, saving me from all this HELL. Thank You, to my dearest, BFF, KATHLEEN FERNANDEZ, to post your self to me, as my birthday present. Only your presence that day, make me sane enough to not do something out of my mind. Thanks for giving me the reason Im still stnading strong till now. I love you, and I love our Friendship so much. Its been, 15 YEARS of OUR FRIENDSHIP, and it still strong as ever. :")
Through all the thick and thin i have been through, theres this few persons that never give up on me, and always listen to all bullshit from me, cheer me up, and love me for WHO I AM. And for that, this shout out are for you!! THANK YOU GUYS, AND I LOVE YOU SOO MUCHHHH!!! <3 p="p">
1. Kathleen Fernandez
2. Zai Zeffery B Zainudin
3. Nasuha Suboh
4. Wardah Sakinah Bt Ridzwan
5. Muhammad Afiq
Monday, 28 May 2012
A song for myself now..
Life is hard, I just had to move on. I need to be strong again.. I need to go away from the pain.. I dont want it to get to me again cause it hurt bad. I just want to go away.. Anywhere I'll go, my heart still bleeding inside. I wish someone could understand. But for now, i just want to prepare to Breakaway again like I used to. I need to go, cause its hurting me alot. And i dont belong here.. Pokerfacing will be my best speciality again..
BREAKAWAY.
Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I'd pray
I could break away
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly.
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky.
Make a wish, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.
Out of the darkness and into the sun.
But I won't forget all the ones that I love.
I'll take a risk, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away
BREAKAWAY.
Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I'd pray
I could break away
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly.
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky.
Make a wish, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.
Out of the darkness and into the sun.
But I won't forget all the ones that I love.
I'll take a risk, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away
if only things are like what it used to be.....
Everyday when im being alone especially at night, or at time like this, i meant when im just with my self alone i will missing u terribly.
I miss the time when i can just without fear, calling you or atleast message you.
I want to say that I miss you, I love you, Can i call you, I need You, like i used to without fear..
I miss when you just simply call me for just burning my time, and maybe company me when im feeling down and lonely at night. And im sure im going to miss you alot when im in Penang in two more weeks, where im going to be lonely and everyday alone by my self with totally differrent world to live.
Im, my self really are not ready to go Penang yet for now, with our condition. I just hope im strong enough to go through these there even if that mean, i have to be strong and go through whatever going to happen there without you. As early as the morning just started now, again the tears falling are because I MISS US very much Sayang, I really do..
I miss the time when i can just without fear, calling you or atleast message you.
I want to say that I miss you, I love you, Can i call you, I need You, like i used to without fear..
I miss when you just simply call me for just burning my time, and maybe company me when im feeling down and lonely at night. And im sure im going to miss you alot when im in Penang in two more weeks, where im going to be lonely and everyday alone by my self with totally differrent world to live.
Im, my self really are not ready to go Penang yet for now, with our condition. I just hope im strong enough to go through these there even if that mean, i have to be strong and go through whatever going to happen there without you. As early as the morning just started now, again the tears falling are because I MISS US very much Sayang, I really do..
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