been a long time i since my last post right?
haih, it seems, 2012 starting to be a really tough tough start for me..
there's been a lot test given from HIM to me, my family and my realtionship with people..
My Final in Penang turn out to be pretty bad, and its dissapointed me and make me fall down on my knee for quiete some time. I avoid all calls and messages from people after what happen. At first i am very frustrated and embarassed and scared with the result later. Deep inside, i am really pissed because of other people fault and other people incosideration had put me in this mess..
Until now, it still been a nightmare for me.. Ive tried to maintain my pointer and still trying to achive my target, but after what had happened.. Im unsure :(
Im sad because of this..
I still thinking about it, but then it is actually a lesson for me, cause i cant expect people to change. They sometimes just who they are, and we cant change that even if we want it bad.
Its just a mistake to expect people change for good, and it cost me BIG.
LESSON HERE : -
People not going to change if themselves dont want too
I have put my trust on the right person from now on.
Most of all, I must not to rely on others.
Then, after that, the TEST for my family.. Its STRUCK just out of nowhere. My dad, get a mild strock again. And our family, kind of unprepared..
As we are trying to be stable Monetarily suddenly it seems, we just had to forget it.
I thought of having a more smooth semester next Sem seem is not going to be that easy, after i have to quit my part time job unexpetedly and start to take care of my family for now..
My family is struggling, and now I am not that strong as i had been before..
Well I know, my mom trying so hard, but also i know, she cant do alone, and she cant support everyone of us in the family, me and my sister all along had tried to support our self all this while.
I am just tired, thats all..
My sister is so far apart and just wish she was here, so i can actually rely on someone..
hmm, i wish everything going to be ok soon. I hope i still can find the money before next semester started so that i wont be so stress out, and worried.
Last but not least my relationship with others.. I mean.. hmmmmmmmmmmm.. this one is hard. Cause i had enough problem on my own. and i do not need anymore from others.
So it up to all of you. You want to care about me, thanks, you want to keep your life happy and safe without me. Fine, go ahead.
Well, im hurt, i know you guys are so busy and all, but sometime a message, call or just come and visit me sometime, is not going to cost that much isn't.
When you guys just keep saying you were busy, and yet i see you hanging out with other people and that shows how much time you had, if you just care about me just a bit..
I just need some strenght if that was too much to ask..
I know, i sound childish, but yet im hurt..
Special thanks, to Afiq, cause you have been great, to me. Even we are far, an i know u really busy, and even, its me who really hard to answer your message or call, you have always been there no matter what. You never ditch me, I'll really appriciated it.
And to you, Zai, i know its always been hard for us, but then you as well tried so hard.. I know. Just i prayed i hope things going to be much easier for us if can...
LOL. Thank for making me smile, even if its not going to br everyday. but of you helped me in different ways.
