Tuesday, 5 August 2014

Because No One Really Cares.

I didnt ecpect everyone would celbrate with me or wished me.
I dont really care about it.
but when the people who are I am very closed too, and they are important in my life as I thought I were 'important' to them as well just ignore the existance of me. 
Well thats hurt me alot.

Ya even if I dont have any big party or fancy celebration but if even just one person come to my door with a piece of cake or even just come to give me a hug and wish me I would make me happy.
I just dont want to be alone, especially not yesterday. 
my family dont really care about my birthday. so if those few people who closed to me just keep throwing the fault on each of them what could I say more?
Ohh she didnt come?
He didnt do anyhting ke?
Laa kenapa kat rumah?

Okay all this question, really I dont have any the answers.
Because yes, people asking about others. why they didnt do anything, but then you are that person who are important to me too, but you putting the blame to someone else.

When I was in Penang, everyone says, I wish you were near so we can celebrate together, but when Im here, no one really cares.
yes, maybe I sound Childish and demanding.
but I just feel its my day, and never once anyone care, its either, Im too far, they are not free, or just no one give a damn.

So its really hurting me, truly indeed. I feel torn apart.
Because, the truth hurt.

No one care

Friday, 3 January 2014


For the first time, I'll be having my Final as a Human Resources Management student. Truth to be told, I have never been this unprepared. During my Dip I was always ahead of the game, but right here and now, because a lot, I really mean A LOOOOTSSS of problem coming in, I took my time to stand back up on my feet again.  So much, I wish  could just scream it out right now.

Anyhow, with this much time left, I pray and pray I could still do it. Still manage it. I want to show them, no matter how much they break me apart, I'm better than they thought. I am not just a Hotel Faculty student who have nothing to bring it. Well guess what, BRING IT ON. Also I want to show to that special someone, I know maybe I not good enough for her or her family but I am trying my very best on my own feet. So don't judge me. I was trying and there you go again criticizing and hurt me inside out. I am really sorry if I really take anything at all from you. I just wished I could talk about what really happen, so maybe you can just stop judging, cause it hurt so bad. It bring me down sometime cause your words are harsh. I know your are a successful women, and I'm just trying to start living. But please, find out the truth first, I know maybe you don't care. But I do. I listened enough. And when you decided to put the blame on me, if something when wrong with him, it so unfair to me. (lets just stop here cause it starts to feel hurt again cause i just wished i could tell him everything happened right now). Maybe just maybe one day, if gods will, you will stop hating me.

So for now, Gambateh Nadiah, haters going to hate.
 I'll be having 6 Papers. Gosh 6 killer papers. And, even the exam schedule are pack, making it so hard  for me to breathe. Hope I can go through this ALIVE. : D

  1. Human Resources (5 Jan 2014, Sunday)
  2. International Business (6 Jan 2014, Monday)
  3. Financial Management (10 Jan 2014, Friday)
  4. Business Law (13 Jan 2014, Monday)
  5. Information in Business Technology (15 Jan 2014, Wednesday)
  6. Operation Management (16 Jan 2014,Thursday)

WISH ME LUCK!!!!!!!! 



Assalamualaikum, n hey.
ya its been so long ago since my last post.
Time does flies. pejam celik pejam celik da 2014. Its was a quick one for me 2013, indeed it was.

What I did back then was, I work in an office as an HR&ACC assistant, well i gain alot of experience back then, so much goods and bad ones. And later in 2013, I get my degree call.
Well, guess what I've change my course. Yup, I put my passion behind. I put cooking and food behind for now. But never does the feeling and the urge to be back in the kitchen fade not even once. And until now, I missed the hectic, the heat, the Awsomeness, all the surprise and knowledge I could gain there. Its my heart and soul. Not even a second I've doubted that, I love learning about food, I could just go on and on. Maybe one day just one day I could till have my Bachelor in Science Culinary Arts. Its still my dreams.

As for now, and two more years to go, I just have to finished what I've started. BACHELOR IN HUMAN RESOURCES MANAGEMENT. I always love learning, and reading, I know I had tried hard, but sometime it feels I did not try hard enough. Maybe because it is not 100% of my passion here. I do read and study but the sparks and the adrenaline is just not there anyhow. Worst come to worst I still need to finish my journey. I'm pushing my self, and it quite hurting deep down inside, cause well Damn I miss Culinary.
*SIGH* Watching my ex course mate still pursuing in that make me so envy at times. But this is the routes I have choose. I prayed I can still do this at my level best, maybe not like last time, but maybe just around there, or maybe if I can be daring enough, maybe I could go further and be better.

The different between this course is too vary, one is about food and one more is to manage human. I'm still learning on how to manage the ridiculously ridiculous human behavior here.
Truth to be told, here in Melacca through out the semester, it has been a hell of the ride.
My campus is only a 16th floor building. It not even can be call a campus, we are here in the middle of the city. So many challenges have to be face, the transportation problem, place to stay, high living cost, even crime level here is high. Its scared the hell out of me, and even till now its does.
Also in term of finding new friends, practically hard, as everyone else stuck with their old batch mate, and I'm the new one from hotel faculty.

So basically, I'm on my own.  Hmm mentioning about friends here, just making it hurt somehow, even to trust anyone here are quiet impossible. There a lot I've learned through Diploma, but never once I experienced this kind of attitude. Here I did. So many, hurtful and unforgivable people I've met. Their attitude are just unacceptable. I try to be nice and keep on giving and I was stabbed not in the back but right in front. Believe me, it very hard to make me to hate people, almost impossible but they successfully just did it. It broke me apart completely, and I cried for days, fell sick because I cant believe there are such peoples. And that I've learned here. I forgive, but never forget. Maybe u can break me cause I'm all alone here,and maybe taking advantage are your best strength but there's Allah. What goes around comes back around.

Maybe the only friends I really can be comfortable I think with my committee member when we organizing all the project and event together. Ya I forget to mention, I was choose by my lecturer for an interview to be a committee member of the HR SOCIETY and guess what I pass somehow and become one of their Exco. Never once I thought I going to made through my studies and even get in as Exco member yet I did.
In few more weeks I'll finishing this semester. I just hope I pass with flying colours.

Tuesday, 26 March 2013

Almost at the end of my journey..

Assalamualaikum ..
It's been almost a week I'm back in Penang..
All d drama, backstabbing, being used over and over again sometime just drain the nice self of me here.
Sometime being nice is suck cause you feeling it hurting you deep inside a lot, but yet you feels it so wrong to hurt other feeling the way they did to you cause for you it's wrong that way..
It's jus making me tired somehow lately..
Well, I love living in Penang where I can just live on my own and stuff but the emptiness, just creeping slowly and get to me at the end of the days.
I miss a true companion.
Who will always be there for me, who are true to me no matter what.
I learned a lot here the meaning of life and friendship
And there's only a few that I know I can count my life onto them cause they are true to me in every way there is..
I love them, and even though they always far from me, they always give me strength even when I thought of them.
They been guiding me through the darkest and the loneliness that haunt me all along.
They are, a friend, a family, and everything I could ever ask.
Thanks guys, this shout out goes to, Kathleen Fernandez,  Zai Zeffery, Nasuha Suboh, Marcus Philip Paul, Muhammad Afiq, Wardah Sakinah, Atiyah Najihah, Sharifah Najwa.
You guys are just the best, love you guys a lot and thank you cz always be there for me and be my sunshine that just light up my small world..

Tomorrow, in going to have my last final exam.. Which is my practical test basically.
I've done my theory and send my report. Well it's going to be my last straw. 
I hope I gonna do my best, I will try my best.
Keep praying,praying,praying!


Saturday, 16 March 2013


Assalamualaikum W.B.T

Happy Saturday's!
I bet you guys going to have an awesome weekend right.
I am soooooo jealous right now, cause Im going to have the busiest weekend ever..
not that I never have a busy weekend, but this time I really feel that time envy me alot.
I running out of time this whole week, trying to catching it up is very exhausted.

On Tuesday I had an interview for my new job as an Assistant in Admin and Account Department, in Atlanta Resources Sdn Bhd. Its and construction, engineering and interior design firm.
I actually a bit reluctant at first to go, cause I am not sure am I capable enough to carry such a position.
This is because, I am basically a Culinary Art student graduate, (after nex week my final yes, Im done with my diploma) and to have an interview that is not at all based on my academic qualification is terrifying.
Yes indeed, I did have some experience on working on tender and paper works but that is it.
Nothing more than that. But my mom insist me to try. So yeah, I did go to the interview and I was very unprepared. I really forget everything, I just grab the resume I had in my file and all my certificates in the morning of the interview day. I should have been at least been prepared just a bit. But I did not.
Then there we go, all the butterflies in the stomach feeling and nervousness.


Alhamdullilah, the interview went quite fine. My boss name was Mr. Mosum, he is a mixed of sri lanka and arab. He was nice, and he want to give me the chance to work there. He said I look confident (when the fact is i was really faking it) and he willing to give me the shot even I am actually from a different field.
I think he believe I can do it when I know what he was saying when he ask me about tender and account and things regarding paper works. Well i do not know much, but I surely did a few so I roughly had the idea though. Well, my semester break never really fill in with holidays and enjoyment, it has been always work to get my pocket money and for my education. It is not easy being an Independent child but sometime it worth it cause when time like this, experience it all I need. I did come clean to him, that I wouldn't know everything, but if there a chance to learn, I will learn it. That who I am, if there a room of improvement Im willing to learned.

Okayh, let get to why I am exhausted. This is because the next day it self, Mr. Mosum ask me to come to work for 3 days. (Wednesday to Friday). I was a bit shock cause for the record, my schedule for this week is very pack but then he wanted my help for this tender that need to be submitted on Friday and also he want to see how well I can work. So there it goes, my schedule become really TIGHT!!!

I worked from 8 a.m to 11 pm for the straight 3 days, and my works involved a lot of thinking and stress. I had to start typing letters for bidding, letters of acceptance (it reminds me of LAW so much), and photostatting tender, calculating and fill in the tenders. And the worst part is, in between of all the works, I have to do my report. My brain was really EXHAUSTED. I didnt even have time to eat those 3 days.
For today, I did have my time, but then I have to do my report again. SIGH..

Worst come to worst, is  tomorrow I had to go TGI Fridays to work.. :( cause my name is in the schedule.
this making me feeling so sick. cause im just to exhausted. I feel like Im working my self way to much.. I really need a break though..

Friday, 15 March 2013



Its 15 Mac 2013, well how times flies..
today date means a lot, well at least to me..
so just wanna make a shout out to YOU,
H2Y5MA love...

iloveyouforeverandalways, zai zeffery b zainudin.