Tuesday, 26 March 2013

Almost at the end of my journey..

Assalamualaikum ..
It's been almost a week I'm back in Penang..
All d drama, backstabbing, being used over and over again sometime just drain the nice self of me here.
Sometime being nice is suck cause you feeling it hurting you deep inside a lot, but yet you feels it so wrong to hurt other feeling the way they did to you cause for you it's wrong that way..
It's jus making me tired somehow lately..
Well, I love living in Penang where I can just live on my own and stuff but the emptiness, just creeping slowly and get to me at the end of the days.
I miss a true companion.
Who will always be there for me, who are true to me no matter what.
I learned a lot here the meaning of life and friendship
And there's only a few that I know I can count my life onto them cause they are true to me in every way there is..
I love them, and even though they always far from me, they always give me strength even when I thought of them.
They been guiding me through the darkest and the loneliness that haunt me all along.
They are, a friend, a family, and everything I could ever ask.
Thanks guys, this shout out goes to, Kathleen Fernandez,  Zai Zeffery, Nasuha Suboh, Marcus Philip Paul, Muhammad Afiq, Wardah Sakinah, Atiyah Najihah, Sharifah Najwa.
You guys are just the best, love you guys a lot and thank you cz always be there for me and be my sunshine that just light up my small world..

Tomorrow, in going to have my last final exam.. Which is my practical test basically.
I've done my theory and send my report. Well it's going to be my last straw. 
I hope I gonna do my best, I will try my best.
Keep praying,praying,praying!


Saturday, 16 March 2013


Assalamualaikum W.B.T

Happy Saturday's!
I bet you guys going to have an awesome weekend right.
I am soooooo jealous right now, cause Im going to have the busiest weekend ever..
not that I never have a busy weekend, but this time I really feel that time envy me alot.
I running out of time this whole week, trying to catching it up is very exhausted.

On Tuesday I had an interview for my new job as an Assistant in Admin and Account Department, in Atlanta Resources Sdn Bhd. Its and construction, engineering and interior design firm.
I actually a bit reluctant at first to go, cause I am not sure am I capable enough to carry such a position.
This is because, I am basically a Culinary Art student graduate, (after nex week my final yes, Im done with my diploma) and to have an interview that is not at all based on my academic qualification is terrifying.
Yes indeed, I did have some experience on working on tender and paper works but that is it.
Nothing more than that. But my mom insist me to try. So yeah, I did go to the interview and I was very unprepared. I really forget everything, I just grab the resume I had in my file and all my certificates in the morning of the interview day. I should have been at least been prepared just a bit. But I did not.
Then there we go, all the butterflies in the stomach feeling and nervousness.


Alhamdullilah, the interview went quite fine. My boss name was Mr. Mosum, he is a mixed of sri lanka and arab. He was nice, and he want to give me the chance to work there. He said I look confident (when the fact is i was really faking it) and he willing to give me the shot even I am actually from a different field.
I think he believe I can do it when I know what he was saying when he ask me about tender and account and things regarding paper works. Well i do not know much, but I surely did a few so I roughly had the idea though. Well, my semester break never really fill in with holidays and enjoyment, it has been always work to get my pocket money and for my education. It is not easy being an Independent child but sometime it worth it cause when time like this, experience it all I need. I did come clean to him, that I wouldn't know everything, but if there a chance to learn, I will learn it. That who I am, if there a room of improvement Im willing to learned.

Okayh, let get to why I am exhausted. This is because the next day it self, Mr. Mosum ask me to come to work for 3 days. (Wednesday to Friday). I was a bit shock cause for the record, my schedule for this week is very pack but then he wanted my help for this tender that need to be submitted on Friday and also he want to see how well I can work. So there it goes, my schedule become really TIGHT!!!

I worked from 8 a.m to 11 pm for the straight 3 days, and my works involved a lot of thinking and stress. I had to start typing letters for bidding, letters of acceptance (it reminds me of LAW so much), and photostatting tender, calculating and fill in the tenders. And the worst part is, in between of all the works, I have to do my report. My brain was really EXHAUSTED. I didnt even have time to eat those 3 days.
For today, I did have my time, but then I have to do my report again. SIGH..

Worst come to worst, is  tomorrow I had to go TGI Fridays to work.. :( cause my name is in the schedule.
this making me feeling so sick. cause im just to exhausted. I feel like Im working my self way to much.. I really need a break though..

Friday, 15 March 2013



Its 15 Mac 2013, well how times flies..
today date means a lot, well at least to me..
so just wanna make a shout out to YOU,
H2Y5MA love...

iloveyouforeverandalways, zai zeffery b zainudin.

Sunday, 10 March 2013

hope things get better....

its been a rough one..

Hey guys..
I've been avoiding blogging  for months now..
First, maybe its because of my internship, or maybe im just not ready to share evrything here yet..
well now Im back..

Its been rough month ending of 2012 and also a bad start early of 2013..
Well with my internship,it  is harsh sometime cause its so busy and i barely has time to rest or eat, and my health is way out of care.
Well, I just want to finish my diploma for now and forget everything what hurts and how hard the journey was and how much I learned through out years in Penang about life and Friendship. Just people who really close to me might understand the meaning i meant here..
For now I just have to finish my report (which i didnt even started yet, even how hard i tried).
I need to give all I can cause I know this is the last push for me before end of my diploma.
My last effort which will determine I succeed or not.

And then come emotional breakdown which I am having for 2 months now..
Im barely hanging on right now..
Family matters, Relationship..
Sometimes it just drive me mad.. Im not complaining though..
I just wish things going to get better again..
First of all its not us to keep our distance so long like this, its just not us. I've missed you, alot.
Maybe it nothing to other bare eyes, but they don't know how hard it been on us recently..
Its so hard to pretend anymore..
I just pray things gonna get better again, cause I'm tired to handle everything right now.
I need you sometimes..

Hmm, well I really need to start on my report next week..
I know I can do it if I really put my heart and mind to it..
I just need a boost to do it now.. I cant do it at home cause all the drama making me mad, but i just need to find a way and place to get things started..
I hope I can.. Well I must!

I remember your word dear, you said you want to see your girl wearing the same pink selendang on my convocation like you did.. I'm trying.. You know all this while I study hard, and you too study hard at the same time..
We are nerds in the way we are, so I always try my best to get ANC.
So my parents, and you will be proud with me..
and i wouldn't be so embarrassed to stand side by side with you, cause I know I made it as you did.

miss this moment when can just smile and loved.