Monday, 28 May 2012

A song for myself now..

Life is hard, I just had to move on. I need to be strong again.. I need to go away from the pain.. I dont want it to get to me again cause it hurt bad. I just want to go away..  Anywhere I'll go, my heart still bleeding inside. I wish someone could understand. But for now, i just want to prepare to Breakaway again like I used to. I need to go, cause its hurting me alot. And i dont belong here.. Pokerfacing will be my best speciality again..


Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I'd pray
I could break away

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly.
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky.
Make a wish, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.
Out of the darkness and into the sun.
But I won't forget all the ones that I love.
I'll take a risk, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away

if only things are like what it used to be.....

Everyday when im being alone especially at night, or at time like this, i meant when im just with my self alone i will missing u terribly.
I miss the time when i can just without fear, calling you or atleast message you.
I want to say that I miss you, I love you, Can i call you, I need You, like i used to without fear..
I miss when you just simply call me for just burning my time, and maybe company me when im feeling down and lonely at night. And im sure im going to miss you alot when im in Penang in two more weeks, where im going to be lonely and everyday alone by my self with totally differrent world to live.
Im, my self really are not ready to go Penang yet for now, with our condition. I just hope im strong enough to go through these there even if that mean, i have to be strong and go through whatever going to happen there without you. As early as the morning just started now, again the tears falling are because I MISS US very much Sayang, I really do..

Tuesday, 1 May 2012



One of my friend telling me too,
 ' just kering kan ur heart, and dont expect for anything, or you would be hurt'

Well, its not easy for me, after i had been mend my heart for years.
 And yet again now i have to do it again after for once i thought it going to be ok..

I really dont know what to do. It feel hard, indeed it does.

I feel like i just dont want to go through this again, cause, i aint strong no more.

Sometimes the thought of living alone always re-appear in my mind.
Either way i had always been independent,  money wise and decision making wise.
Rarely there is occasion where I discuss it with my parents. Its been always me being independent.

Hmm, i feel thorn. Cause it not easy to pretend im happy when i am not.

Again its hard, when you decide to be alone, and there is time when you know no matter what you will find for the one person who can make you feel okay again.

I need you dear, but i cant.
I miss you, but i cant.

And  I really tired of all the drama. I just need a normal life.

I am tired..

And The Hardest Thing........