Tuesday, 11 October 2011

hear me..

i dont know how to spilled all this out..
to who or where.. for now, jus my heart feeling really heavy sangat2..
hmm i been keeping everything inside, and sometime i jus couldnt take it anymore..
i dont blame anyone, and im not going to..
its my life who's mess up, and its me who feeling depressed..
i know its been years im keeping this to my self.. im been acting all out..
but the truth is im just always depressed, and it haunting me..
making me me who i am today.. and everytime im home its worst, i dont know the reason why.
but when everytime im home, i lost my appetite to eat, so many problem messing in my mind..
and its making me feeling unwell always also im going to lost pretty much weight again..
its not im talking without sense here, it what happening over and over again this pass year.. so im kind already figure out what going to happen this past 6 month.. im home again, and im going to go through this again for awhile..
like i said before, im dont blame anyone, just i feel my heart been wash spin and dry over and over again.
its hurt me alot.. but who i am to turn too when im like this?
hmm, its been 5 days since im home, and all i do was stuck in the room all the long with my lat top and phone.
its not even somebody contact me through FB or HP, its jus me and the songs and movies all over again.
This past year, im like having my own world.. I always with my own world alone, and if even my boyfren and bestfren is there, its they always be with me, but from so far away.. and alast, i create my own world each time im alone, and the real me, will pop out in awhile when im with them..
the real happy and outspoken and outgoing girl been missing deep deep inside every single day.. there no one really knows wh is the real NADIAH anymore, execpt for cat and zai who alwys bring the real me out..
but, again i understand their situation, and i just need to continue in my own world as ussual.. its going to hurt me alot, but as i always try bearing wit it, i will try again and again. even i will cry again and again..

my song for now, every word so maeningful to me, its expressed everything i felt each day

Sunday, 9 October 2011

you, cepat la balek :(

3 days and im getting crazy here..
but i'll be here for 6 month..
tomorrow its self is my orientation day start..

oh yeah forget, i'll be doing my internship in GRAND DORSETT SUBANG JAYA,

it is situated just behind SJMC.. well come on and visit me if you free okeyh..
i will start tomorrow, and if not mistaken might finished in MAC..

but this post is meant for YOU..
yes YOU!!
i really mean you.. :(
come homeee laaaaaaa.. Sape nak teman i ni..
i know you coming home today.. but bila je we got to meet up right.. hmm..
esok it self i da start practical you know?
anyway, both of us need to find a way tau..
you be here only for a month, as for me i'll stuck here for MONTHSSS..
so i hope we will try our best to spend time, although we know it going to get very very hard this time..

anyway sayang,
YOU finished your final already, MERDEKA to you..
well, i know without doubts you result going to be great as ussual..
as for mine, is still unsure and cloudy..
i hope that i did my very best you know, so i can stand beside you without shamed or embarassement...
i know you dont really mind, i know how you are.
but its just matter a lot for me, cause i want both of us to be successfull okeyh..
cause we are so different from others tau! WE IN IT TOGETHER RIGHT! :)

So now, im waiting for you homecoming now, and i cant wait to meet you again eventhough not really sure when. but i'll wait <3

p/s: thanks for the wonderful moments in terengganu, and for teaching me account <3

im back, but whats wrong with my brain?

Hi peeps..
Well, im back in shah alam for 3 days already..
and guess what???
hmm, im going crazy and so lifeless this 3 days..
there's nothing to do..
and do you guys know, that i just finished my FINAL!!
Yes I DID, but my head just wont take any rest from studying..
hmm, i dont know why..
its just like im so excited nak study lagi.. GILA BETUL LA KEPALA OTAK AKU NIYH =.=
Even when im sleeping or just doing nothing, straight away my head thinking about all the formulas in COST CONTROL, and the format in ACCOUNT also the theory in RESTAURANT OPERATION.. WTH man!

please gimme a break :(
well actually i really dont mind getting all the books and do some exercises..
cause not all exercise i managed to do in the books.. but the things are, i should give my brain a rest, i keep pushing them to their limits last week during final..
that why whenever my mom ask me to sort out and organized my book in the rak i insist..
its not because i dont want to..
its just the temptation of reading and re-doing my final paper is to bad!
i might re-check again and again my paper..
well i did check before but there certain question im not sure about the answer..
so i might end up doing the paper rather than kemas buku tuh..

mom im so sorry,
just my brain still in the mode battle for final exam,
and i try to shut it down but its like it already set in auto mode.
truly am sorry..