hear me..

i dont know how to spilled all this out..
to who or where.. for now, jus my heart feeling really heavy sangat2..
hmm i been keeping everything inside, and sometime i jus couldnt take it anymore..
i dont blame anyone, and im not going to..
its my life who's mess up, and its me who feeling depressed..
i know its been years im keeping this to my self.. im been acting all out..
but the truth is im just always depressed, and it haunting me..
making me me who i am today.. and everytime im home its worst, i dont know the reason why.
but when everytime im home, i lost my appetite to eat, so many problem messing in my mind..
and its making me feeling unwell always also im going to lost pretty much weight again..
its not im talking without sense here, it what happening over and over again this pass year.. so im kind already figure out what going to happen this past 6 month.. im home again, and im going to go through this again for awhile..
like i said before, im dont blame anyone, just i feel my heart been wash spin and dry over and over again.
its hurt me alot.. but who i am to turn too when im like this?
hmm, its been 5 days since im home, and all i do was stuck in the room all the long with my lat top and phone.
its not even somebody contact me through FB or HP, its jus me and the songs and movies all over again.
This past year, im like having my own world.. I always with my own world alone, and if even my boyfren and bestfren is there, its they always be with me, but from so far away.. and alast, i create my own world each time im alone, and the real me, will pop out in awhile when im with them..
the real happy and outspoken and outgoing girl been missing deep deep inside every single day.. there no one really knows wh is the real NADIAH anymore, execpt for cat and zai who alwys bring the real me out..
but, again i understand their situation, and i just need to continue in my own world as ussual.. its going to hurt me alot, but as i always try bearing wit it, i will try again and again. even i will cry again and again..

my song for now, every word so maeningful to me, its expressed everything i felt each day